Monday, March 21, 2011

There's A Pill For That

I make lists.
I make lists, I set goals.
I make lists, I set goals, I read books.
I make lists, I set goals, I read books, I tell myself stories,
Yes,
I tell myself stories of love
And have convinced myself that JOY is only a heartbeat away.
But, at the end of the day,
It is me
And the misery in me,
The, anger in me.
The movie did not hide me from me.
The sex did not replace me with me,
Nor did the beer, the football game or the medical legalization of weed.
This American dream
Is killing me
But I've been too busy to see
That we are fighting over the dead
Instead of coping with the dope in our heads.
Feeling gets me out of my head
But it is going to take a major effort to separate what I, am feeling.
I am floundering to exercise my will
And only now do I find out that anti depressants?! 
Are the number one selling pills -
There’s: Prozac, Zoloft, Luvox, Paxil, Celexa, Lexapro, Sarafem, Remeron, Buspar, Desvrel, Edropax, Vestra, Effexor, Serzone, Cymbalta, Pristiq, Enden, Pamelor, Pertofrane, Sinequan, Surmontil, Elavil, Tofranil, Vivactil, Ludiomil, Adapine, Duloxetine as well as the dopamine reuptake inhibitor antidepressant Wellbutrin, also marketed as Zyban.
I’ve been told that I have a mental disorder
Because I have body dismorphia.
Well, there’s a drug for that too!
You feel tranquilized, metabolized and somehow a bit compartmentalized
And only now do I understand
How it is possible that when they passed the 700 billion dollar bailout,
No one made a move! 
Why?! Because we are tranquilized as we strain our very existence.
So, let’s define the distance
Between you and me although it’s getting harder to be normal.
But first,
Let’s cleans our minds, because they are tainted. 
We do not know who’s voice is speaking anymore.
Is it my lover, my mother, my father, my teacher, or the guy selling the mantra cd’s?
How would I know?
I am too busy processing opinions about me to even realize that I,
Am co-dependent.
I make lists.
I make lists, I set goals.
I make lists, I set goals, I read books.
I make lists, I set goals, I read books and tell myself stories.
Yes,
I tell myself stories of love
And have convinced myself that JOY is only
A heartbeat away.